Thursday, December 17, 2009

Sharing

You know at a very early age we are taught to share without consequences. This works for us as we’re young children and we’re not tainted by society or greed. Though as time goes on this changes in all of us. No matter what you share there’s always a risk involved in releasing things to others in the off chance they take this and use it against you or towards their advantage. I personally have been selfish with a lot of things in life and don’t really see a reason to change. I’m ok with the fact that I only give enough to get by so people don’t ask questions or pry. Life is complicated and the less emotion you put into it the less complicated it becomes. Sure this may result in a lifetime of loneliness but you can’t ever get hurt if you’re not sharing. I recently tried this whole sharing thing and I understand why I’ve come to never do it all these years. I believe for me at least, that it’s not going to help or improve me as a person. I’m an individual and that’s all I want to be I don’t want to share me or myself with anyone. I don’t need someone to walk into my life only to walk right back out. Call it selfish, walled up, closed off, or whatever. I call it safe. Though I may not feel the blade of the knife that scars me I’m aware that one exists, and I always know where it’s at. You see by not “Sharing” I can determine how deep the bladed cuts. If you share you’re letting someone else press down on this blade. I’m not ok with that I want to control what happens to me. So for me “Sharing” is not really an option. A tragic lifetime of emptiness or shallow relationship is a much more viable option.

Understanding people and knowing that most of us lack for companionship means I’ll never have to be alone if I chose not to be. I don’t believe in playing games or toying with people’s emotions. I’m very upfront with who I am and how I am. Just know that we all have the power to give or take and I’m not “Sharing”…

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