A Little Too Late

You know recently I’ve know so many things in my life to change that while I wonder how and why I can’t help but think the timing of life in my case is always just a tad off. It always seems like I’m just a “A Little Too Late”. Ironically enough when we find ourselves in this situation it’s really one of convenience rather than necessity. While we are going along on our own little happy way it appears that we finally wake up one day and realize that hey I should get myself in gear and do the right thing. Unfortunately we are set up for failure since we already have the answers and know what to do. This promotes nothing healthy and genuine but rather an ideal situation for the most opportunistic. Do people really change or are we just smarter about what to do and say? I believe given the choices I’ve been presented in life I know that right now right here I could say all the right things and do the necessary to make things all work. But I personally can’t do that it’s empty it means nothing. I’m not being real to myself if I do this nor am I being true to the over scope of things which is much more important. Why do I not do the right things or express myself when I have the time to?

Life is hard and it hurts to put yourself out there no one wants to throw their cards on the table and regardless of what people tell you they never fully do. Understanding this and accepting it is about all that you can do. I know that I’ve closed myself off to prevent the other person from having control and this has presented me with a lifetime of empty relationships doomed from the start. I feel bad and know that I’ve left a lot of good women in the dark in my lifetime who tried and wanted nothing more than talk to the elusive man they’ve come across. I’ve always believed some will win some will lose but I will never lose more than them. Unfortunately this is the furthest from the truth. I have lost more than all of them and I now know what I’ve done to myself over the past 20 plus years. The other day a friend of mine said I was his hero and he wished he could do what I do. I looked at him and without hesitation stated “The difference between you and me is I’m going to die an old lonely man.” You see I’ve accepted my place in life and I’m fairly certain I know where I’ll end up. Needless to say I have all the tools to have a great relationship and be everything any woman could ever want, I just choose not to. Regardless of my reasons following my reactions to most situations in life I’m always “A Little Too Late”….