Mastering the Art of Loneliness

OK this past week I’ve run across several people from a variety of situations and I’ve come across one common thread here. There’s so many lonely people. Let me explain you don’t have to be alone to be lonely, nor do you have to be lonely if you’re alone.

So I’ve got a friend that is with a person and is unhappy but refuses to let that person go because they can’t handle the quiet and solitude that ensues. So while this selfishness is promoting bad habits and defining a relationship of denial. This portrayal of discontent on someone else’s feelings is just wrong no matter how you look at it. So this makes little sense to me you don’t want the person you’re with you’re talking to other people but you can’t let this go because you’re afraid of being alone and in a quiet house.

Now there’s another good friend of mine that is in a relationship that feels completely alone. I think that this is probably a very common place and where most of the relationships I know live. How come it turns like this how can you feel alone when there’s someone just feet away. I know laying up at night there’s times that you look over and think when will I find the one for me. So as time goes on complacency sets in and things that were fun now taper off to routine at best. Dinners are spent alone though you’re literally two feet away. Watching TV becomes I’m on this side of the couch your on that side. I don’t touch you unless I have to or want something. I can’t wait for you to go somewhere so I can have my alone time, even though I have it all the time.

The one that really kills me is another friend who has just recently left a relationship like the previous paragraph explains. I remember hearing them say if I’m going to do everything alone and feel alone I may as well be alone. Fast forward a few months now that day has come, but guess what…. they’re lonely. OK you were lonely while you were with them and wanted out to have your “own” time, and now you’re alone. So talking to this individual I find out that they miss having someone around, so even though they felt alone they at least had the opportunity to have someone in their life if they choose to. Now seriously another act of selfishness.

All of this has brought me to the conclusion that the majority of people that have these “loneliness issues” are indeed themselves lonely. If you’re looking for validation or happiness from someone else it’s never going to happen. You have to be happy with yourself and things in your life need to be good. Be yourself and like it, be comfortable in your own skin. Realize you’re not perfect and you have flaws. Most importantly accept your mistakes and you as a person.

So I myself and entirely alone during the hardest times of the year. Another Birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas that I’ll be alone. All of that being said I’d rather be alone and happy then with someone and miserable. So while I’m alone, I’m not lonely……