Emotional Numbness

I’ve always been the rock, the one for all others to talk to and give advice to. People look up to me they know I’ve got my stuff together and I am a squared away guy. I’ve always been there for people and have been able to do this effectively for a better part of 35 years now. I think there’s an emotional pitcher in all of us when it becomes to full it starts to overflow. During these times of overflow we must talk to someone (usually someone like me) to have them pick up all of the excess bits of confusion that is spewing from our pitcher. After gathering all of this information it gets dissected and analyzed and advice or logic rationale follows.

Ok so if that’s the process what happens when my pitcher begins to fill and start to overflow? Well I can tell you what has happened to me it’s what I call “Emotional Numbness”. I’ve been conditioned to lose sight of my own thoughts and feelings, and things start to blur or blend together. Since there’s no one there to pick up all of my pieces they keep overflowing. I’m left with this huge amount of emotional baggage that I have no idea what to do with. My feelings are now a huge conglomeration of confusion. I’m mad, but I’m sad. I’m Happy but I’m lost. I’m upset yet I’m hopeful. It’s such a strange feeling to have with all of these feelings swirling around you, and at anytime any one of them can step up and take over. Luckily for me mentally I’m ridiculously locked in.

I’ve got such a tight hold on my mind and it’s abilities that I can always present a cool calm logical side to the world. While behind every smile lies a puddle of tears at least the rest of the world believes I’m as strong as I appear to be...