I sit in an office and while it gives me every excuse to be fat and lazy I refuse to give in. My life is busy anyone with kids knows that you're a slave to them(how odd how that's backwards, oh well whatever).
So I have to run during my lunch hour(which is nice it helps break up the day). I take a late lunch(I usually head out about 1:30 or so) it helps the day go by faster the only downfall it's hot as hell when I run. I like to think of it as added resistance. Since I live in Flat Florida I have no hills, but I do have heat and humidity. Unlike hills they are constant so in a sick way it's like running uphill all the time. =) I will say that my pace in the summer drops significantly compared to the winter(if you can call it that).
Running has really helped me in many ways(besides the obvious health benefits). It has given me the ability to push myself and do things I didn't think I could do(or want to on most occasions). Out there on the road it's you against yourself(and the road/trail/path/whatever), and you have nothing better to do than think so now is a perfect time. Also thinking helps you keep your mind of the fact your on fire.
With all of this I guess I run for me. At the end of the day it helps me which in turn benefits others but it helps me keep my edge and I love running more than any other form of exercising period(Though a swim in my pool is a close second).
You know I've been to Vegas a dozen times(Hell I lived in LA so it was a quick 3 hour trip across the desert) and this time it was so different than all the other times.(Granted this time it wasn't about drinking and gambling 24/7).
I really took time this time to notice what Vegas has to offer and what it's really about(Yes this is correct not a single drop of alcohol). After noticing all the massive changes from the last time I was there I was quickly put back into place on what that city is all about. It's almost like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide thing. In the day it's bright sunny and people are walking around looking at all the sights taking pictures and making it appear that it's a normal place.
When the sun sets so do all the safeties and morals that most people know. The first thing that I noticed were the millions of people(men and women back in the day it was just guys) wearing brightly colored shirts handing out pamphlets for prostitution *cough* excuse me escorts or dates. OK seriously who the hell doesn't know you're trying to hand out a paper of some hot chick who doesn't exist that they're trying to get you to "Pay" to hang out with her. Enough of that no need to give any more attention to something that deserves none.
Secondly it seems like the whole atmosphere and aura changes after dark it's much more loose and a bit shady. Why is it that because you're in Vegas now 98% of all the women feel it's appropriate to dress like a Slut? Seriously? I saw more chicks dressed in clothes that were at least two sizes too small than I have combined in my lifetime. Now don't get me wrong I'm a man and I enjoy the sight seeing but it becomes pointless. You actually become desensitized to it. By the time I left the chicks dancing in the cages nearly naked I didn't even do a double take at.
I played my two favorite games of choice(Blackjack and Crap) and despite the craziness I actually left with more money than I went with(this was a first and probably a last). I could totally become a professional gambler. This is hard to believe since I also have OCD.(I'm a video game junkie I tell you). You would think that this would suck me in and I'd become a degenerate. I think it's because I don't really get the high or enjoy it like the obsessive people do. Don't get me wrong I'm doing the high five and cheering thing like no body's business. For some reason I'm able to separate myself from the act of what I'm doing and bring myself back into a logical state of mind. I also hate to lose another reason that I'd think I'd fall prey to loosing everything.
I may have to test this theory out in Vegas Baby...
I’ve been watching the Casey Anthony trial since it’s right in my backyard and I have to tell you that it’s been an incredible journey. When I first started watching this I can’t lie I was hoping to see the train wreck that would unfold. But as time went on I’ve really had a change of heart on this whole trial thing. I’m not going to lie from Day 1 I thought this selfish bitch was always guilty. Any person regardless of who you are if your child is missing I don’t think you’d be out partying and enjoying yourself. I understand we all grieve differently but I can hardly see how partying and acting like you’re not a mother is an acceptable way to grieve. The other family members seem to be more concerned about her own daughter than she was. Even to this day through all the lies and twisted tales Casey has fed us I can look past it and try to disect the rationale behind her actions. OK she’s a pathological liar I get it. But I can’t look past her sheer disregard and lack of compassion towards not only her own daughter but her family.
I don’t always have the best relationship with my extended family but I can tell you if one of them ended up missing I’d be doing everything I could to find them.
OK the vent is over now to the point of this post.
Watching Casey’s father(George) on the stand you can see a broken man, and it saddens me to the deepest core of my soul to see another human being go through this. I’m not that emotion(mainly because I’m a guy) but this is killing me inside. Watching this poor man go through all of this trama as his daughter sits there with no emotion and accuses him of unspeakable things just furthers my belief that she’s a monster. I’ve never seen another human being go through emotions like this. You can tell without certainty that his emotions are 100% raw and sincere. I think that it’s even harder to watch since it’s a man, and most men are supposed to be strong(that's the whole Alpha Male in me) and be able to handle anything. To see this man being broken down over time like this until the complete destruction of what he has become today is heartbreaking.
Now on the flipside of this I see that Casey just doesn’t seem to care about anything that doesn’t impact her. It’s so blatantly obvious that the only reason she’s even sad is because she can get in trouble. I don’t think that there’s an ounce of guilt in her mind and the only thing that she is worried about is herself. The worst thing is that she has seem to have forgotten that she even had a daughter and she’s now gone forever.
Both of these people are broken, for very different reasons and in very different ways….
Well I've been absent awhile life has been busy but hey that's what this crazy journey is all about.
I had a race over the weekend it was just a short 5K and I've been doing 4 miles pretty consistently at lunch so I thought hey no big deal. Man was I wrong first off at lunch I run in a secluded area so I can take my shirt off, I'm way too modest to do that in a group of people. Regardless if I have a six pack or a beer belly that's just not my style. So I had my regular Dry Fit shirt on which was far from dry by the time the race ended. Secondly I run with very little inclines as there's just a lot of flat land here. So the race starts going up a bridge and ends going up that same bridge. I did it in 25:27 not my best time by far but considering the sweltering heat I'll call it a push.
The nice thing about this bring me to the title of this blog "Inside Your Outward Self". You see I run because I sit in a office all day and I love to be active. I run at lunch to break up the day and it's also a great mental exercise since the heat and humidity this time of the year are just plain Nasty. Plenty of water for this parched body please! I know that if I can do this at least 4 out of the 5 days in a work week then hey I can do anything fitness related. The real reason that I started running at lunch is because I'm doing the P90x stuff at night. I used to run then do P90 or vice versa. That was just too much at one time it would wipe me out. So out of convenience I've moved it to the lunch hour. Now granted if my lazy ass could get up at 5AM and run that would be even better but I don't see that happening anytime soon.
OK so no the real reason for this blog since the background has been covered. This whole exercise thing for most I don't think do it for the right reason. Most of the people that I know that want to change their lives and look better are doing it for the Outward Self. Hey don't get me wrong this is great and this is what everyone thinks about or sees when they first see you. But this whole bust your ass for 4 hours a day working out thing is so much more than that. That's just an added benefit if you will. The mental stimulation and growth of pushing yourself is so incredibly rewarding. The funny thing is that most people who exercise will eventually learn this. Though this may not be the driving factor in getting fit, if you do it the right way you will eventually come to this point. I've always tried to push people and let them know that your body will quit before you mind will. Most people just can't get past this. If you can break down these walls and get in touch with your Inner Self you will be able to accomplish things you've never imagined. This isn't just for exercise this is for life in general.
Don't give up or get discouraged but instead learn from your setbacks and improve on them. Do something and do it well this is how you will find out what your Inner Self is made of.
You know at a very early age we are taught to share without consequences. This works for us as we’re young children and we’re not tainted by society or greed. Though as time goes on this changes in all of us. No matter what you share there’s always a risk involved in releasing things to others in the off chance they take this and use it against you or towards their advantage. I personally have been selfish with a lot of things in life and don’t really see a reason to change. I’m ok with the fact that I only give enough to get by so people don’t ask questions or pry. Life is complicated and the less emotion you put into it the less complicated it becomes. Sure this may result in a lifetime of loneliness but you can’t ever get hurt if you’re not sharing. I recently tried this whole sharing thing and I understand why I’ve come to never do it all these years. I believe for me at least, that it’s not going to help or improve me as a person. I’m an individual and that’s all I want to be I don’t want to share me or myself with anyone. I don’t need someone to walk into my life only to walk right back out. Call it selfish, walled up, closed off, or whatever. I call it safe. Though I may not feel the blade of the knife that scars me I’m aware that one exists, and I always know where it’s at. You see by not “Sharing” I can determine how deep the bladed cuts. If you share you’re letting someone else press down on this blade. I’m not ok with that I want to control what happens to me. So for me “Sharing” is not really an option. A tragic lifetime of emptiness or shallow relationship is a much more viable option.
Understanding people and knowing that most of us lack for companionship means I’ll never have to be alone if I chose not to be. I don’t believe in playing games or toying with people’s emotions. I’m very upfront with who I am and how I am. Just know that we all have the power to give or take and I’m not “Sharing”…
Far too often we stray away from things that we’re vulnerable to. No one like to be weak or show signs of cracking on our walls. Recently I’ve studied my weakness, my Kryptonite have you, and I’m telling you there’s a lot that can be learned from this. Understanding our “Weakness” is key in growing in order to complete ourselves. To truly accept it and embrace it will not make you weak but rather make you stronger, much stronger. Don’t shy away from it, face it head on. Challenge it explore it know it as if it were your strength. Live it, become one with it, and most of all accept it!
I’ve always been afraid of conflict, so much so that I would put myself in very awkward situations to avoid it. I’d literally do anything to avoid conflict and in lieu of this I’ve been in some very precarious situations. While I was afraid of not only my “Weakness”, but the reactions from it. I’ve let that go and now I’m learning to control and hopefully someday master it. I’m no longer going to run from it, avoid conflict, or live a lie. My mask of smiles shall be removed and I will forever hold true inside and out. My own personal “Weakness” is nothing that extravagant or prestigious but it is a flaw none the less. Ironically enough after studying it and learning to accept it I’ve realized the true power and sheer beauty of it. I’ve always been blinded by it and would succumb to it time and time again. I’ve lived most of my life running from this rather than facing it, and while hindsight is 20/20 I should of done this a long time ago.
I’m not going to state my “Weakness” here, but I will tell you this by facing it I’m no longer afraid of it. It can’t tame me or stop me from controlling it. By allowing this to consume me it was controlling me, I felt powerless at times. By letting something control me that much I have allowed it to beat me. I can assure you one thing those days are over, long over and the balance of power has definitely changed. I’ve finally let it consume me for the right reasons, and now I can relinquish this control and learn from it.
So take whatever “Weakness” you have analyze it understand it and learn how to master it…
You know recently I’ve know so many things in my life to change that while I wonder how and why I can’t help but think the timing of life in my case is always just a tad off. It always seems like I’m just a “A Little Too Late”. Ironically enough when we find ourselves in this situation it’s really one of convenience rather than necessity. While we are going along on our own little happy way it appears that we finally wake up one day and realize that hey I should get myself in gear and do the right thing. Unfortunately we are set up for failure since we already have the answers and know what to do. This promotes nothing healthy and genuine but rather an ideal situation for the most opportunistic. Do people really change or are we just smarter about what to do and say? I believe given the choices I’ve been presented in life I know that right now right here I could say all the right things and do the necessary to make things all work. But I personally can’t do that it’s empty it means nothing. I’m not being real to myself if I do this nor am I being true to the over scope of things which is much more important. Why do I not do the right things or express myself when I have the time to?
Life is hard and it hurts to put yourself out there no one wants to throw their cards on the table and regardless of what people tell you they never fully do. Understanding this and accepting it is about all that you can do. I know that I’ve closed myself off to prevent the other person from having control and this has presented me with a lifetime of empty relationships doomed from the start. I feel bad and know that I’ve left a lot of good women in the dark in my lifetime who tried and wanted nothing more than talk to the elusive man they’ve come across. I’ve always believed some will win some will lose but I will never lose more than them. Unfortunately this is the furthest from the truth. I have lost more than all of them and I now know what I’ve done to myself over the past 20 plus years. The other day a friend of mine said I was his hero and he wished he could do what I do. I looked at him and without hesitation stated “The difference between you and me is I’m going to die an old lonely man.” You see I’ve accepted my place in life and I’m fairly certain I know where I’ll end up. Needless to say I have all the tools to have a great relationship and be everything any woman could ever want, I just choose not to. Regardless of my reasons following my reactions to most situations in life I’m always “A Little Too Late”….
While I believe that all things in life happen for a reason and there’s nothing thrown at us that we can’t handle, sometimes the “Timing” is suspect. Recently a lot of “Timing” events have occurred in my life that has me questioning my position and stance. You see I was trotting along this little happy path with very little worries or concerns. Then suddenly one day something changed and this path seemed to turn, and not only once but several times. Now I’m standing before a major intersection with may outlets. I was just sure of how things were and where I was going and then life throws me a whirlwind of events. Strangely enough the “Timing” on these things seems to coincide with other events in my life but none the less “Timing” definitely plays a part in my decisions. I’m in constant wonder as to why now? Why at this point in my life? I’m guessing that there’s plans for me and I have to accept the fact that I may or may not be able to capitalize on some of these events. I was so certain that I had my life set and planned out and I knew for certain that things would be like this forever. Finally accepting my place and future I was positive that I knew my place and my role. Now things are a bit skewed and my vision of what once was has now become a thing of the past.
So in the ever changing journey known as life when we feel the most comfortable and secure it pushes us through a different door. Trying to plan or predict this cannot be done thus creating “Impossible Timing”…
OK this past week I’ve run across several people from a variety of situations and I’ve come across one common thread here. There’s so many lonely people. Let me explain you don’t have to be alone to be lonely, nor do you have to be lonely if you’re alone.
So I’ve got a friend that is with a person and is unhappy but refuses to let that person go because they can’t handle the quiet and solitude that ensues. So while this selfishness is promoting bad habits and defining a relationship of denial. This portrayal of discontent on someone else’s feelings is just wrong no matter how you look at it. So this makes little sense to me you don’t want the person you’re with you’re talking to other people but you can’t let this go because you’re afraid of being alone and in a quiet house.
Now there’s another good friend of mine that is in a relationship that feels completely alone. I think that this is probably a very common place and where most of the relationships I know live. How come it turns like this how can you feel alone when there’s someone just feet away. I know laying up at night there’s times that you look over and think when will I find the one for me. So as time goes on complacency sets in and things that were fun now taper off to routine at best. Dinners are spent alone though you’re literally two feet away. Watching TV becomes I’m on this side of the couch your on that side. I don’t touch you unless I have to or want something. I can’t wait for you to go somewhere so I can have my alone time, even though I have it all the time.
The one that really kills me is another friend who has just recently left a relationship like the previous paragraph explains. I remember hearing them say if I’m going to do everything alone and feel alone I may as well be alone. Fast forward a few months now that day has come, but guess what…. they’re lonely. OK you were lonely while you were with them and wanted out to have your “own” time, and now you’re alone. So talking to this individual I find out that they miss having someone around, so even though they felt alone they at least had the opportunity to have someone in their life if they choose to. Now seriously another act of selfishness.
All of this has brought me to the conclusion that the majority of people that have these “loneliness issues” are indeed themselves lonely. If you’re looking for validation or happiness from someone else it’s never going to happen. You have to be happy with yourself and things in your life need to be good. Be yourself and like it, be comfortable in your own skin. Realize you’re not perfect and you have flaws. Most importantly accept your mistakes and you as a person.
So I myself and entirely alone during the hardest times of the year. Another Birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas that I’ll be alone. All of that being said I’d rather be alone and happy then with someone and miserable. So while I’m alone, I’m not lonely……
You know recently I’ve had a big shock from things in my past resurfacing. While I have always looked forward and never regretted much of anything lately I’m in this really bizarre state of “what if”. Needless to say I believe that people enter our lives for specific reasons unknown to us at that time only to later reveal a much clearer picture.
I’ve come across a few friends lately that are going through some issues within their personal life and it always seems like I’m the one with all of this magical advice. While I believe that what I say is sound it’s so strange to hear others talk themselves out of what they know they feel. I always try to force others to look at things through the eyes of another person and remove them from the situation and put their emotions aside. Ironically enough they’re always able to spot out and tell you what you should do in these situations which are identical yet, they’re not able to see it themselves. I used to get lost in wonderment as to why the human psyche will allow you to make excuses for your life and be OK with it. I personally had this issue with many things in my life until I woke up one day and said I’m holding myself accountable for the things that I can control. No one cares if I work out, run, or eat healthy. But I'll tell you who does... Me When I do something bad or fall of the wagon I quickly remind myself to get back on track and focus. I’ve allowed myself the opportunity to right my wrongs, not make excuses for them. I’m tired, I need something fast, I’m sore….. Seriously come on who am I kidding, while this may fly and the outsiders may think this is a valid reason. I know this is no reason this is an excuse. I’m so sick of excuses I’m a person of accountability and results.
Very recently I found myself in a situation that I kept making excuses for someone and kept allowing them to continue to do the same things over and over again. Not until I was able to muster the courage to take control of “MY” life and grow did I realize how much time I wasted. I’m notorious for sticking around much longer than I should of or had to. Call it loyalty, optimism, belief call it whatever you’d like because at the end of the day it’s an excuse a crutch have you.
I’ve give so much “Broken Time” to others that I’ve missed out on my own life and happiness. I refuse to be in a situation that makes me unhappy. Life is way too short to be miserable. A very good friend of mine once told me that if the person you’re with doesn’t make you feel like a king leave them because someone will. They informed me that I should not waste my short time on this planet in a miserable state, but rather use it to search out that one thing that will make me happy.
Now that all of this has become so clear to me I ask if you’ve got “Broken Time” in your life, you my friend have already given up...
I’ve always been the rock, the one for all others to talk to and give advice to. People look up to me they know I’ve got my stuff together and I am a squared away guy. I’ve always been there for people and have been able to do this effectively for a better part of 35 years now. I think there’s an emotional pitcher in all of us when it becomes to full it starts to overflow. During these times of overflow we must talk to someone (usually someone like me) to have them pick up all of the excess bits of confusion that is spewing from our pitcher. After gathering all of this information it gets dissected and analyzed and advice or logic rationale follows.
Ok so if that’s the process what happens when my pitcher begins to fill and start to overflow? Well I can tell you what has happened to me it’s what I call “Emotional Numbness”. I’ve been conditioned to lose sight of my own thoughts and feelings, and things start to blur or blend together. Since there’s no one there to pick up all of my pieces they keep overflowing. I’m left with this huge amount of emotional baggage that I have no idea what to do with. My feelings are now a huge conglomeration of confusion. I’m mad, but I’m sad. I’m Happy but I’m lost. I’m upset yet I’m hopeful. It’s such a strange feeling to have with all of these feelings swirling around you, and at anytime any one of them can step up and take over. Luckily for me mentally I’m ridiculously locked in.
I’ve got such a tight hold on my mind and it’s abilities that I can always present a cool calm logical side to the world. While behind every smile lies a puddle of tears at least the rest of the world believes I’m as strong as I appear to be...
Very recently I took a keen eye towards couples interactions. While ironically I believe that most people who are together are not completely happy with each other but do nothing about it to change things. So I guess this kind of goes along the lines of the whole are you living or are you existing?
Needless to say I’m a people watcher I always have been and always will be. It’s so entertaining and I’ve made a lifetime out of reading people, so for the most part I believe that I am a good judge at first on what’s going on. So this bring me to my point about this post “Artificial Intelligence” .
While at face value “Artificial Intelligence” may mean some super interactive counter intuitive logic designed to interact with you on a level which would rival human interaction. So I’m not defining it in that sense at all but instead the empty feeling that exists in most people’s relationships.
So I’ve always been a big believer of the whole you’ve got to try harder as the relationship develops not while you’re in the honeymoon stage. You don’t even have to do anything you just have to show up in the beginning. The other person is lusting after the knowledge you’ll provide them. Here’s an example: When’s the last time you talked on the phone with your other half for more than 30 minutes and it wasn’t a fight? When’s the last time you two had a make out session, and it ended there? There’s a quote from a song that I think is absolutely perfect in describing this:
Some people say that love's a losin' game You start with fire but you lose the flame The ashes smolder but the warmth's soon gone You end up cold and lonely on your own
Seriously I don’t know if you realize the power of these lyrics but tell me honestly tell me that nearly every relationship is exactly that.
So now that we’ve discussed the whole “Artificial Intelligence” concept lets dissect it. So very recently I was standing in line when I noticed this elderly couple in front of me, they weren’t holding hands or even doing a whole lot, but they had this aura about them. You knew they loved each other and it was cute, watching them interact you could completely understand that they not only knew each other but accepted each other. They didn’t say much but you just knew there was no question in your mind that they were traveling the same journey. On the other hand looking around at the rest of the people I could easily suggest everyone was just existing in their relationship. Whether it be for the kids, the convenience or fear of change it’s very obvious.
Why is this such an oddity? What isn’t the oddity the whole “Artificial Intelligence” concept. I’m like seriously is it that big of a deal to actually want to be with the one you’re with? Why pretend or stay together based on convenience and comfort. While complacency is a killer, it’s the lack of acknowledging that is the real problem.
I’ve always said I refuse to wake up and realize I’m 40 and I’m in a loveless relationship that I’m trapped in. I don’t want to be that person so many of us are out there. Understanding just how artificial your relationships are, make the intelligent choice and find happiness……
Recently I’ve been doing a lot of personal reflection and soul searching which is a very unfamiliar place for me as I always live my life going forward and not wondering what if.I must say while I have been doing some self discovery I’m not dwelling in the past per say but rather trying to learn and grow from my experiences.I’ve always been a big believer in you grow from what you’ve been through and it defines who you are today.I know now that while I may have been saying that the reality is that I haven’t been living that, and if I was I was blind at times.
There’s a few key points that I’d like to address at least from my own personal encounters.
1.Having someone that believes in you.
This is huge as I’ve found out over the years, I never truly understood the power of this at the time but I know now just how crucial it is.There was a past relationship that has really formed me into the man I am today they harvested my self pride and confidence and I was forever changed.I think back and I long for that support, but due to my strength and power I’ve managed to survive without it.Though had I had that same support system today, there’s no telling where and who I’d be.
2.Having a strong independent person
Ok this is as equally as huge and though I believe for the most part this has been a hindrance I believe it has also been a strengthening exercise.While I’d love to say I enjoy helping others there’s a difference between helping and doing the majority of things.At some point or another you become an enabler rather than the strong one.
3.Doing things for you
Ok while this one is a bit ambiguous it’s more about feeling good about yourself.I think it’s important to do things for yourself that make you confident and feel good about yourself.For instance I used to run and love doing it, I have not done this nearly as much as I’d like or should.By first improving yourself and feeling good about the inner you the rest will come along.
Lastly and by far themost important….
4.Start living don’t go on existing
This is what I believe the problem with most of the world is experiencing today.While we get caught up in the day to day grind we don’t ever challenge ourselves to do something to make us feel alive.We rather stay in the trenches and have the blinders on about the bills and stress that life and work throws at us.Even if you do one small thing a day to make you feel alive if you can remember what that’s like then you have begun your journey.
On a side note I believe in the power of positive reinforcement.We all have the ability to let things bring us down or let them have minimal impact upon us.I thoroughly believe that negativity and negative people are like a poison.If you let it consume you it will, and it will spread to whomever will allow it to.
There’s and old Indian saying about the wolves that live inside of us which describes this perfectly.
We each have two wolves living inside of us one is hate and the other is happiness.
While the true meaning of the 4th of July a.k.a. “Independence Day” haslong since been lost we can at least honor ourselves this year.
In the historic sense this is one of the most important days in our rich American History.Had the young founders back then not had the determination to take what they felt was theirs we wouldn’t be in the same boat we are today.Ok, Ok so I will not sit here and bore you to death with all of this historic mumbo jumbo banter.But let us be cognizant of the reason we’re going to bar-be-que2, drinking, and waiting around to see the night time explosions.
So now the real reason for this post….
This year I challengeyou to enjoy yourself like you were an 8 year old child without a care in the world.While we sit in limbo with high hopes of what’s to come throw all your inhibitions and cares aside.There was a time that the shine in your eyes was much brighter than the one you’re awaiting to see in the warm summer night sky.Do you recall the built up anticipation that you felt as people were all huddled around looking up into nothingness awaiting to see what this year’s show was all about.As a child you didn’t rate or judge it, you were just happy to see it.Almost salivating at all of the mom and pop little fireworks going off around you, it became hard to contain yourself.Awaiting as to see what was in store for you perched with your head back trying to pick the exact moment when the magnificent show would begin.You countdown in your mind knowing that when you hit1 the show will miraculously begin.Suddenly the very first loud crack comes out, the sky lights up so brightly you can feel it nearly take the breath out of all sight seers standing by motionless.You can feel the warmth onyou r face as if the sun had just emerged from behind a cloud.While this teaser just makes your imagination yearn for more the entire crowd becomes silent.
Ironically the barrage of thunderous booms begin almost as if it’s unexpected.Flashes of multi colored patterns fill the sky as we all try to makes shapes out of what we see in our minds eye.Flash after flash, spark after spark they fill our internal happiness tank until it’s capped off and we think there’s no room.At this point in time we realize that our happiness tank has “no limit”.This moment of serenity which needs no explanation or questioning, you’re here and you’re ecstatic.While this goes on for quite some time, youhold each boom in your soul as if it’s the last and you’re going take all of it in not missing a beat.With each explosion you can see the red glow bounce off of everyone’s face as if in front of a giant “Eat at Joe’s” neon sign.The only audible sounds are “Oh’s” and “Ah’s”, with an occasional giggle.This moment is truly special as there are no cares no negativity no sadness, just anticipation and satisfaction.You’ll never see so many captivated people smiling in on place all for their own reasons, yet they all hold one thing in common: “We’re all here enjoying and experiencing this together”.
As the “Big Bang” of the Grand Finale approaches cheers, whistle, hoots and hollers begin to fill the air piercing through the light haze of smoke from the plethora of the previous explosions.This new found state of euphoria is untouched and can’t be disrupted as you live in complete harmony.Boom after boom, explosion after explosion, the climax of the event has truly lived up to all that you could hope for.Then suddenly as fast as it all started it ends.For a brief moment there’s silence….
Then you hear that first car start and you know the night has come full circle.At this moment, at this very exact moment, the entire mood of everyone watching changes.This is the period of reentry back into our so called life, the looming letdown and sadness starts to creep over the crowd almost like a virus. There is no quicker way to deflate an entire group of people. Even at a sporting event when the away team scores that last point to win the game, there’s always some visiting team players in the crowd that feel the jubilation of victory.You have just left the tranquil placeyou’ve lived in for the past 45 minutes and have succumb to the pressures and realizations of society.
This rite of passage pulls us in and forces us to immediately acknowledge the stress of 10,000 people all trying to get out of a space designed to hold 3,000.On the way home the sound of explosion have been replaced by horns honking, the explosions have been replaced by engines being revved up in frustration.But the saddest transformation has yet to be witnessed.All of the smiles and giggles just moments before are now replaced by frowns and curse words as everyone is obviously more important and intelligent than all of the other’s who are stuck in the same exact position that they are.
Sadly enough you were joking an laughing with each other now you’re experiencing road rage and wanting to get violent with the same person.While this makes no sense and can be avoided, it’s almost a necessary evil that’s inevitable….
Is it me or does the Charismatic sun of the summer dampens your motivation to be at work?I love my job but there’s something about the sun when it’s shining bright and full that has a spell on me. The entrancing radiant waves seem to call out to me to play hooky.I know I know most people love to be anywhere but work, so that’s a lame attempt to take a day off.
In my case I honestly love my job and enjoy coming to work each and every day. I’ve got a great group of guys that I work with and the environment is phenomenal.
All of that aside when I look out the window the sun is yearning for me to join it in all its entirety.The warmth of the rays beating off the metallic cars prompts me to hop in and run away from the corporate life.I could go bask away on some tropical island and live forever.
Now I’ll close my eyes and imagine that I’m somewhere other than work…..
me the ability to push myself and do things I didn't think I could do(or want to on most occasions). Out there on the road it's you against yourself(and the road/trail/path/whatever), and you have nothing better to do than think so now is a perfect time. Also thinking helps you keep your mind of the fact your on fire.